I Wanna Be A Civilian
Booked out on Thursday evening and am booking in this evening. Always disliked the evening booking in to SAFTI. No such feeling previously in BMTC though.These evenings always feel so short and lethargic. Feels like there's something I have not done yet.Even those days that I'm at home, those nights in my own bed, feel so unreal. Its like I do not know where I belong. I stay in camp longer yet it is no home to me. Days at home feel too short to really make me feel like I belong.This is one thing I hate about NS.Heck the Duty, Honour, Country...Find me someone who preaches that and I'll show you a liar. This course is so freaking long. Nine freaking months. I'm not even halfway through it. And I am really afraid of taking up appointments now. Afraid of the responsibilities and sacrifices that come with it. This is just so wierd, I am feeling negative towards leadership as a result of these training. I just wanna be a civilian. A normal commoner. One would need not worry about survival in the jungle, need not care about signing extras and all those military customs and practices. Fewk. I just wanna feel right slacking at home, an sleeping only to wake up when I feel like doing so. I hate to be pushed into doing things I loathe and putting myself in such uncomfortable conditions, just to get those results that matter more to the image of the school than myself.GRR... I wanna be a CIVILIAN! I wanna be a NOBODY!TO HELL WITH DUTY, HONOUR, COUNTRY.FUCK YOU! NS I SAY AGAINFUCK YOU!
mE posted at 12:28 PM
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