Water Planet

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Big SIGH

Just realized that I have a terribly hectic week ahead of me. And the fact that this had been an ultimately unproductive weekend isn’t helping the least. Had intended to play like for the first two days of this short break and mug the rest away, but seems like all these are just crap from my trap.

Tried to get things back on track today. I tried to tackle my SBQ, Chem and some Vectors. Did the first jilt the rest. Have been trying really very hard to concentrate, trying really very very hard to focus. But seems like I just can’t do it.
Very disappointed in myself given that there are like about 70+ days to the A’s.

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I guess it’s just what’s inside. An overwhelming gust that I have been quelling all these time just broke free within and is engulfing me in an uncontrollable rage and I no longer have the means to bolt it down.

I’m just so sick of it. A little carelessness and all these just spills in, disrupting the equilibrium I have established with so much effort.

Sometimes I just have this urge to ignore everything, and everyone around. Thinking perhaps I would feel better. Just keep to behind the boundaries that I have erected to maintain my equilibrium.
I don’t really want to do that though, cos I prefer the bustling and liveliness that the outer true sphere contains, and I believe I belong there too. Just that I have been around the solitude of solemnest and silence for too long a time that I have developed a certain inclination towards it.

Maybe if I just bear with the bitterness and swallow this mouthful down, it would be better? But I have no idea and utterly no confidence. Sometimes, when you have faced too much disappointments, you begin to lose faith in everything, including yourself.

*BIG SIGH

mE posted at 10:42 PM