Water Planet

Friday, February 23, 2007

Tough Choices

We are often faced with choices in this life we live. Even in situations where we have practically no choice, we still are making a choice when we choose to do something.

In the sane mind. One would make a choice which would often better him off. Just like the Le Chatelier's Principle in Chemistry which I had previously brought up. Few would make a decision to something which would put them to discomfort. Unless it breeds good in the long run...but that's still being better off in another sense.

When we are making decisions. Lot's of stuff flood our brain. The causes, the consequences, the lead-ins, the people around us and so much more. There's alot to consider, although we often put our own interests as first priority. Human nature.

But however conflicting it may be, certain decisions are just clear-cut. No point putting too much thoughts into a weighing a choice which you know yuo definitely will take.

Trouble comes when you're torn.

"Torn" what an apt word to use. It this four letter and one syllabus word. It encompasses the fact that when we're torn, we're split. Split and torn between our choices. Often, this torn brings some kind of pain in it. Not literally, but as in stress, a troubled mind or a even a desolate heart.

These are the troublesome choices that we can really make do without.

But as part and parcel of life, Tough decisions have to be made. It's part of learning and growing as an individual as well.

In my opinion, these tough choices are often a spilt between practicality and emotions. You may know that giving something up is actually good for you, but somehow, you know that something inside you still want to retain it. Really a headache.

I've come to realise that when faced with such a torn situation, an extra pair of ears and a really trustworthy tongue makes this so much better.

Often, in such situations, we are often clouded by the facts and emotions before us. We may insist that we know exactly what's going on but it isn't the fact. When you explain your position to someone, besides informing him, you are in actual fact, sorting your thoughts. When you draw those thoughts out in a verbal conversation, you are arranging the facts. It helps in clearing a little fog off that cloudy mind of yours.

It is important that your listener is one which is trustworthy. As you do not want to go on and on and on when the only thing the other party wants to talk about is the party he had last weekend. It has to be a case whereby your listener feels for you and really understands and put himself in a similar situation as you are. It helps when that person is one whom you know well and knows you well too. It is even better if no pretence or fake fronts are involved.

When a person converses back to you. it brings along his interpretation of your plight and some of his inputs. This is where it helps. The interpretation and feedback from your listener shows you where you really stand amidst the fog that you are in. His feedbacks and inputs makes you view clearer and shows you a point of view that upon hearing, you would probably hammer yourself for missing that obvious fact in the first place. Fact is, when we are clouded and torn, we lose our direction as well.

Few minds are clear-headed enough to manage such tough calls. Once in a while, we may have to trouble the people around us in helping us find our way through our mental fog.

There are also times when decisions made are regretted. You wonder why you picked that course few years back. You feel bad for missing that class last week. You really regretted coming to this school in the first place.

There are no good or bad choices.

They are just different choices with different impacts. It's the consequences that are bad, not the choice itself. Hence, this is often what leads us to regret when we have our eyes pinned on the choices in front of us.

Dealing with such regrets, some people have a way of dealing with it. Which I personally feel is a rather tough one. It all sums up with the quote, "Never look back". Some people believe that after you have decided, you don't look back. No point crying over the choice you made. What matters is the present. These people would say that rather spending time moaning over that wrong move, why not channel or energy in putting things right at the moment?

Another school of thought believes that when you don't like something, you either got to do something about it or just forget it altogether, but often, it's the former.

After a wrong decision is made, some try all their best to correct that wrong piece which they move. I seriously have my reservations about that but it sounds really nice when people go all out for what they really want and to put things right on track again. I appreciate the effort and emotions put into doing it. But just pray that it is not like the line from Linkin Parks's In The End.

" I tried so hard and got so far, in the end, it doesn't even matter."

An alternative comes from a quote I learned from the CIBTC last year.

"When everything is gone, you can only look back."

Indeed, when everything is gone, there's hardly much that you can do. What you really should do, may be to look back and reflect. To learn from the wrong move you took and take a look at what it costs you. That sounds a little sad.

But then again, I think these are all subjective. Choices are different in there own case and there couldn't really be someone who can really understand completely what you are going through..

When people around us are torn, let's offer them a hand, a ear, and our lips. Often, support is more felt that you think.

When faced with such tough choices, one just have to remain strong.

With that, I'll leave you with a quote to go figure. Superficially, it doesn't mean much, but look hard and you shall see.

"When it is dark, you can see the stars"

mE posted at 1:16 PM