Water Planet

Monday, August 07, 2006

Happy Birthday!!!

I had made a mental note last night to blog today, and so here I am again. Know what? I'm seventeen...haha.YEAH!!!
Told myself “Happy Birthday” this early morning, like how I used to do it each year. haha. Each time I does that, I kind of feel suddenly encompassed by a moment of peace. Yeah! I love myself.

Received some messages from people whom I'd not expected from - some ex-classmates and some secondary school friends. Nonetheless, thank you for remembering.

Well, school was as per normal. The principal doesn't give you concessions just because it is your birthday. The first two presents of the day were the Chemistry Lecture test and the International History Essay test. Sad to say, didn't went too well for me. A little disappointed with the Chemistry test though, given the amount of effort and time that I had actually put in to study for it.

Towards the later part of the day, my mood kind of went down. Don't really know why, but I was feeling so pissed within. Though I tried hard to contain it, it somehow leaked out. Passed on a little attitude onto Yaoxian... really sorry for that. Whatever that went through my mind this evening I had been through before. However, somehow or another, I was still unable to let go and get a new understanding of certain stuff. Yeah, it's pretty much my fault, for expecting too much.
I haven't really seriously discussed it with anybody before. Really afraid that it would spoil things. Sometimes, the things that we have to juggle in life are just like glass balls. Deal with them carefully or risk breaking them and losing them, forever. Therefore, there are still certain risks that I am unwilling to take. But it is really making me feel so uneasy. Haix.

Anyway, the day just pasts like every others, nothing exciting to comment on.

Was reading some past entries of people's blogs earlier. Some made me think back, and I realized that people do change. We are hardly the person whom we are a year ago than now. But do the people around us still appreciate us and like us for what we are despite our changes? Tough call.

Osborne, I thought the entry you had on last year's October was pretty meaningful. It sort of made me contemplate a little on what we had before and now. Vividly, two and a half years ago, the gang was a strong “alliance”. We stood up for each other before the precarious face of the others. We were the “huas” that was so together that we thought nothing could split us. In the end, we were still torn into little fragments and for 2004, we at least had a clique of 7 people. Really missed those days when we would hit for Toa Payoh Central right after school in the back seats of 238. Talking and playing as if the world consisted of only us and nothing else. Then we waited for each other outside the general office each day to go for lunch together. Those times spent were so valuable, how could we have forgotten to treasure them then? We used to occupy the entire row of table during recess time, we walked around in school and everywhere else as if we were going for a gang fight. The days are indeed gone. But I do hope they still remain in our memories for as long as possible. I would always remember that I have such a group of fantastic friends, so close like brothers and sisters, with SD4 and all the funny names that we had came up with, we were and will always be the “华s” Really missing you guys now..... How about a chalet again this year? :p

Graduation 2006

Went for fireworks last Saturday. Really enjoyed the spectacular view of the cascade of amazing displays. Significantly, was that all of us were there that day! Hurray!!! At the Waterfront, when we sat beside the river before the shimmering lights of the city and the Fullerton, I thought back and really enjoyed those few minutes when we were just lying back and looking at the passer-bys going past. Since we made a pact to make it for this Friday's and Saturday's show, let's not go back on our words. How often can all of us come together before such a spectacular sight of the fireworks by the captivating view of the Waterfront?

The Italian fireworks

I have to agree with how Lyn said that “Beautiful things don't last long”. Just like how the beauty of the fireworks disappears after a few seconds of its launch.
Just like how the times we spent together were passed ever so quickly.
Just like how we no longer hit the streets in our numbers.
Just like how coming together for a simple dinner now is such a task.
Just like how we no longer gossiped that much like we used to.
Are we still like we were before? We all know the answer deep down.

...

I used to believe that friends come before everything else – girlfriends, boyfriends, self, other commitments and even family (for me at least). But things seem to be going out of line. I guess I'd probably got it all wrong.
From the push back to reality, I'm beginning to question how far can we really lean on the people we so affectionately term as our “friends”? And may I question again, who would really be there for you when you need a helping hand the most?

Do comment.

Perhaps my expectations are too high?

mE posted at 11:49 PM