Water Planet

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

wtf

Argh… getting so busy nowadays. So many things to do with just so little time. Things really seem to be getting wrong. I am really afraid I can’t cope. The stress of brushing through promos is really boggling my mind…I don’t want to kena retain!!!
The previous weekend was taken up by ATC, next weekend is gonna be kayaking all the way. And as for the days of this week, I’m kept busy up to the neck. School almost always end at five plus in the evening for me, getting really tired and freaked out.

Seriously, I doubt I’m able to cope with my work this year. I chose a combination of my strongest subjects and failed everyone. Tried to be consistent but end up lagging behind almost everything. There are just so much things to do in so little time. Tests to prepare for, notes waiting to be read, tutorials yelling to be completed, projects rushing to be researched, handouts and documents lying around calling to be filed. I know that these are the norms that every other student is facing, but I just seem to have lost the knack of balancing all these.

I’m getting paranoid. So scared that I may flunk my promos. I don’t want to be retained. Omg, what can I do…it’s not that I’m not trying, I’m already struggling to keep up with everything among the commitment to NPCC (the NCOs…really), criticisms from teachers that I had not got before (at least none that I can remember of), and my seriously failing memory (how to deal with history like that?).

Got to go through all this alone…no doubt it is tough. Can’t really expect any help from anyone for my screwed up life. But I’m tiding through. Since I said it, I’ll do it. One day, I will be able to confidently say that I have my life in total control and everything is going as planned.

Right. Enough about work.
Saw through someone today. Not that I was unaware of that person’s character, but it just so happen that he (my usage of “he” does not imply that person’s gender but is merely for convenience’s sake) chose to reveal it carelessly before me today, which I would perhaps have otherwise, closed an eye to. With a frivolous intention, I believe, that person tried to engage me to do something with him (I’m not saying what for obvious reasons). The way he phrased it, made it sounded like a shin sharp hook concealed within a sweet tasty bait. Well, I’m not stupid. For goodness sake, it was so obvious, with the intention and all. However, I gladly complied, choosing to retain whatever little trust that I still had for the person as a friend and for whatever favour he had given me before. In exchange for the benefit of the doubt that I gave him, I received a rough turnabout when he suddenly dropped me from where he had me hanging and just left me there like a forgotten fish. Seeing that I was no longer necessary for his purpose of action, he conveniently forgot about the thing that he was supposed to do with me and went on with his own great Plan B. WTF. I really can’t stand such people. I’m really wondering if I should still continue trusting that person on the accord of forgiveness (well he seemed kind of desperate for his purpose), or should I tread with tremendous caution, which seems to make life difficult for me and sounds really hypocritical. I hate being used. I hate scheming too. But if I have to do it, I will. These people should have a taste of their own medicine and feel the pain of a fall from grace.

mE posted at 8:56 AM