Fade Away
Got back maths and GP today...Well, GP...I'd passed. i'd expected to anyway. though it wasn't that fanastic a grade, a "E" i think, but at least i passed. Managed to scrape through for the Compre section but failed my Essay by that mere two and a half marks. I don't know what to say...Should i heave a sigh of relief for the fortunate fact that I'd passed? Or should i grieve for that hell of a grade that I'd got? I'm so confused. Had it been a year ago, I'd be petrified at that kind of results. But now...haix. Everything's changing.Maths. failed terribly, got a grand total of 23 marks out a paper of 70. Beat that. I know it's pathetic, but really don't see the point in wallowing in self-demise at this point, though I'm really disgusted. Mrs Lim, the only sole teacher of NYJC that I still consider capable of teaching, told me something during lesson. She said that I could have done better than that. I was momentarily stunned. She asked me what happened. After recollecting myself I replied sheepishly that I did not study...I don't know, does she go round telling this to every other students? What she said kind of sparked me a little. But then again, everything has changed, it is afterall only a spark. I'm no longer the person I used to be. I'd overestimated myself.The history teacher announced grandly today that a total of 11 students failed H2 history out of a tweeny tiny cohort of 31. How's that? I guess i belong to that bunch of unlucky minority...History used to be my strongest subject. Where were those days when Mrs Haridass's encouragement and praise were what i was hearing each History lesson? i really missed those times when she were teaching me history and social studies... I'd gotten straight As for History before. Comparing those days to present, i feel really disgusted at my performance now. I'd really let myself and Mrs Haridass down.My passion's faded...I don't wish to complain further. Beginning to fade away really fast. Gotta do something before I lose myself completely. Someone please help me.
mE posted at 12:23 PM
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